Open Letter to Girl on the Street

Dear Annoying Girl with Annoying Friend,

I hope that the awe I heard in your voice when you said "There were an awful lot of three-letter words there..." was just cleverly-disguised sarcasm.

Best,
EFG

FOX: Why Do You Make Me Laugh?

The other night my friend texted me to turn on FOX immediately. There is something on that she knows I'll love. Turns out it's FOX's new game show "Hole in the Wall."

Now, on a sidenote, I have been waiting for this show to begin. The premise is absolutely brilliant: people are put into these padded jumpsuits and they have to jump through funny cut-out shapes in a wall that moves toward them at varying speeds. For the audience it's a win-win situation. Either the person is successful and jumps through funny shapes while in this silly suit OR the person gets whacked in the face by a wall.

But I can't decide if I should be offended that my friend thinks that this should would appeal to me (which clearly, it does)?...

There She Goes, Forgotten AGAIN

The name "Easily Forgotten Girl" was coined many years ago when my Slightly Memorable Sidekick noticed that no one EVER remembered my name. Now, I understand, you meet a lot of people in life and it's simply not possible to remember all of them. Some people have really forgettable names. Some people never speak or introduce themselves. I accept all of these explanations, but I am talking about people forgetting my name after hours of hanging out with me. After meeting me several times. After having semesters of classes with me. People will look at me with this blank expression, extend their hand, and say, "Hi, I don't think we've met?" It's my superpower: I get to make two first impressions. So, the first time I meet someone, if I'm dancing on the bar with a lampshade on my head? No big deal, they won't remember anyway.

This past weekend some of my friends and I went out for my birthday. My friends decided it would be hilarious to have the DJ say a birthday message to me. However, it really backfired on them when the DJ announced "I'd like to give a birthday shout out to a girl...whose name I cannot remember. Happy Birthday!"

Overheard

Walking out of Prospect Park in Brooklyn with SuperBoyfriend, we hear this kid exlaim to his father, "Dad, when we get home, can we have a stick-fight in slow motion?!"

Rock on, kid.

Dictionary Fun

Have you ever used a word incorrectly...FOR YOUR WHOLE LIFE? It's really embarrassing when someone calls you out on it. And then you start mentally reviewing ALL those times that you could have possibly used that word in front of very important people.

I would like to thank my boss for introducing me to the fact that infamous means "negatively well-known". And my apologies to all of the people, places and things out there that I possibly used this as an adjective for. I meant only good things.

Have a Nice Trip

One of my friends, CompetoGirl, teases me that every time I trip or fall down I manage to do it while no one is looking. It's part of my super-arsenal. And two days ago as I was walking along the MAIN road through campus - it happened. I tripped and went flying about two feet before catching myself. I managed to avoid a total fall-down, but it was large...and embarrassing. AND NO ONE SAW IT. I started thinking that maybe my friend was right, and then it happened. I was walking down the OTHER major road and I totally triped again. In the same day. And this time EVERYONE saw. People laughed, and tried to do that polite thing where they cover your mouth so you can't see that they're laughing, but you KNOW it. So, CompetoGirl -- here's to you being wrong. I am klutzy in public too.

Movie Review: The Happening

Let me start by saying that I heart M.Night's movies. Sixth Sense? Pretty good. Signs, awesome. Lady in the Water - I totally bought it.

The Happening: abysmal.

Most of the movie follows a husband and wife whose marriage is sort of falling apart but which we don't really care about BECAUSE THERE'S NO CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT WHATSOEVER. Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel spend most of the time staring at the camera, wondering "is he actually...filming this? We haven't started acting yet!" And then they look confused and start running again.

That being said, while M. Night's dialogue and ability to detect terrible acting went downhill, he continues to place shocking and beautiful images in the movie that almost save the film from itself. Almost.

Long story short: do not see this film unless you truly love M. Night. If Lady in the Water pushed you over the edge, then this film is not for you. If you need good acting or dialogue to sit through a film, then this one isn't for you. If, however, you want to have a couple of hours to ponder exactly what must have happened to M. Night in an open field at sometime in his life...then go right ahead.

Is the Universe Trying to Tell me Something?

I was a little rushed this morning. I was late, I was a little frantic and I was trying to gather food for the day, which is a bit more trying when you're on a diet. I was chopping an apple when I suddenly STABBED MYSELF IN THE FINGER WITH MY KNIFE. I did not see that coming. I ran into the bathroom to put a bandaid in it, came back out to the kitchen to see that my travel mug (with all of the totally cute cherries all over it) had a leak in it...and was dripping coffee all over the table and onto the floor. I stopped. I sighed. I thought about not leaving the house. Then I threw my coffee into another mug, grabbed my keys and ran out the door. I figure by noon I will have been run over by a bicycler or have my finger chopped off in a freak-soda-fountain incident. I'll keep y'all updated.

RIP Marvin

I came home to my apartment two nights ago to find the dreaded sight of one of those large black cockroaches (you know, the ones we call "waterbugs" to make ourselves feel better - but are really just huge cockraoches) resting in the middle of the floor of my kitchen. This happens every so often and every time it does I let out a little girly scream, I curse, sometimes I cry, and then I swear to move as soon as possible. Obviously, I never do.

Anyway, this one was big and scary. I swear he had a gun. But I was resolved to kill him, so I ran into the other room to grab my favorite roach-squashing boot. But when I got back to the kitchen he had disappeared. This caused me major stress, since they tend to get tired of hiding after a bit and then bum-rush you in a sad little suicidial act. Despite the fact that I know that THEY will die during this act, and I will not, it still causes me to go into a panic and run around the room screaming when it happens. So I already know what I have to look forward to later on today.

I head into the living room to catch some terrible 90210 rerun action (the Claire years are so disastrous). About 10 minutes in I get the sneaking suspicion that Marvin (it's sad when you name your cockroaches) has headed back out onto the floor of the kitchen. I run into the kitchen to discover that I do indeed have cockroach telepathy. He's there - waiting. But he's smarter than you're average cockroach. He waits until I get really close and then dashes under the stove! I scream at him, "I'll get you motherf***er. You are my white whale!!"

I checked throughout the evening, but Marvin seemed resolved to stay out of sight. I decided to leave the hallway light on last night while I slept...just in case.

Flash forward to last night. I come home for work and Marvin is out again!! I run straight for him (I left the boot in the middle of the kitchen for just such an occasion) and he disappeared under the radiator. Now I know he's just toying with me. I continue to check throughout the night, but Marvin is not your average cockroach - he stayed out of sight...

Until that fateful moment. I went into the kitchen to get some water right before bed. And Marvin appeared before me, too far from anywhere safe for him to run to. So I reached over, grabbed my boot and brought it down hard and I kid you not, HE WAS NOT SQUASHED! To be honest, I think he was as surprised as I was, and he started to run. But then I brought the boot down again and it was over. It had been a long battle and we both fought valiantly, but in the end, I won out. And to be truthful...I felt a little sad when it was over. I felt guilty. Sigh. RIP Marvin.